Showing posts with label Relationship Facts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship Facts. Show all posts

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

When Is It Okay To Call It Quits?

When Is It Okay To Call It Quits?




Mary asked me:

"I married my first boyfriend 36 years in the past and that i do not assume i was ever in love or even knew what love intended. I believe now that I 'escaped' a codependent courting with my mother and father by using quitting faculty and following a apparently confident younger guy who made me feel unique. He says he wants to develop, however he additionally has lots of passive and overt anger closer to me now. I experience like I do not have the electricity to arise for my internal child while i have such a lot of years of setting his emotions ahead of mine. i'm so worn-out and feel his insecurities have depleted me. I examine "recovery your Aloneness" and want to use my pain for mastering, not keep away from it as i've inside the past... but when is it ok to simply say, "This isn't always helping both folks" and contact it quits?

Of direction it is usually "k" to call it quits if that's what you want. no one can tell you whether or not or not it is proper for you. however - and that is a large 'but' - if you are in a state of affairs like Mary's, you would possibly want to do your personal restoration earlier than ending the relationship.

The clue to the reality that Mary is not geared up to depart this dating is that this: "I sense like I do not have the power to stand up for my inner infant while i have so many years of putting his feelings beforehand of mine. i'm so worn-out and experience his insecurities have depleted me."

Caretaking her husband's feelings while leaving behind her very own is Mary's contribution to this codependent machine. If Mary leaves now, she will take her part of the dysfunctional gadget together with her, and possibly create a similar system in her next courting - unless she simply wants to be by myself for the rest of her life.

i'd propose to Mary that she make use of her modern-day courting to exercise loving herself in preference to caretaking her husband. it's easy for Mary to believe that it is her husband's insecurities that have depleted her, but in fact it's her personal insecurities and self-abandonment which have depleted her. If Mary weren't insecure, then she would not were seeking to manage her husband by means of placing his emotions beforehand of hers. we will continually sense worn-out and depleted whilst we supply ourselves up and try and have manage over getting the opposite character's love or approval, or manipulate over heading off disapproval. Mary may be very aware of her husband's overt and passive anger at her, and she is conscious that she has been putting his emotions earlier than hers, but she would not appear to be conscious that it is this self-abandonment it's inflicting her depletion.

Mary desires to discover ways to make herself experience unique as opposed to counting on her husband or others for this.

unless there may be physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse or intense addictions, I propose that human beings live in a courting until they've shifted their cease of the relationship gadget from controlling to loving themselves. as long as you are trying to control your partner with anger, reasons, defensiveness, compliance, resistance or withdrawal, you've got tons restoration to do. so long as you are warding off duty on your emotions along with your addictions to substances or to strategies such as anger or compliance, you have got a lot healing to do. Leaving the relationship only delays this recovery, due to the fact the issues get brought about within the courting - now not while you are by myself.

unless you want to depart and be alone the rest of your existence, you advantage no getting to know and increase by way of finishing the connection without doing your personal inner paintings. but, it is probably beneficial to take a destroy from the connection to begin to break the old patterns and deepen your internal Bonding practice. sometime, time by myself can do wonders!

If, after practicing inner Bonding and gaining knowledge of to love your self instead of preserve to desert yourself, you still do not need to be together with your companion, then it's possibly time to name it quits.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

The Number 1 Reason Why Men Use Women (A must read for all)

The Number 1 Reason Why Men Use Women (A must read for all)


That's it! I am left with no choice but to start a revolution! even though am not a female, lol.

This article is directed at all of the women out there who are into men, who fall quickly for new guy after new guy and find that they all do the same things:

1 - Act like Prince Charming to start with
2 - Disappear like a magic act after a month or 2


The only reason why men get away with treating women like scum is because WOMEN LET THEM!

This is where the revolution comes in.
Because women all over the world have such loose standards, aren't staunch and don't train men on how to treat them like a lady... with respect and allow men to determine the pace of all interactions, constantly battle in the dating arena.
Women must unite and teach men on how to treat them properly.

Read also Ways to attract men

See things from a guy's perspective. Men want to be free, they want to have their freedom and have as many women as possible until they find one that takes their breath away or they reach a point of maturity where they want to settle down.

If you want to be that one in a million girl that captures a QUALITY mans heart and keeps his interest piqued then you need to religiously do the following things:

1. Slow everything down - discriminate on the type of men you meet and make them wait to see you or speak to you.

2. Don't get physical with them for the first few dates. That means no touching or kissing at all. Tell him before you meet them that if they touch you you will leave and if they do - follow through.

3. Develop an emotional connection over a long period of time. Without an emotional connection you don't have a leg to stand on he will leave you.

4. Don't change your life to suit his schedule - maintain your own life

5. Don't have sex too quickly and make sure you have the discussion about being exclusive before you do. He may still sex you and walk away but at least you have had that discussion first.


Sunday, 8 May 2016

Type of lady every man wants to date.  (Ladies must read for you )

Type of lady every man wants to date. (Ladies must read for you )


When you find yourself dateless while other women are dating left and right, you will probably ask yourself "Why don't guys want to date me?" Finding a date could be so easy for some girls but for you, it is not that easy. You cannot understand why you always end up dateless and don't know how to escape from it. So who is the girl guys want to date? Here are some helpful tips to be the girl every man want to date.

Read also Sex in a relationship

The girl who takes care of her physical appearance.
Although most people would agree that inner beauty is more important, you cannot disregard the fact that physical appearance matters, especially when making a lasting first impression. You don't have to be a supermodel beauty to get the attention of men because there are many women who are not that beautiful but still enjoying the attention of men. Why? Because they know how to groom themselves. When was the last time you upgraded your hairstyle or your wardrobe? Choose a hairstyle that fits your face shape and your personality. Wear clothes that flatters your best physical features. But you have to remember that looking good does not mean you have to show more skin because you do not want to send a wrong message. You want to attract men but for sure you also want to be classy and respected. Dress appropriately and ask help from people who have a good sense for style and fashion. Although there are men who prefer women who are on the heavy side, haven't you considered to at least shed some pounds and be fit not only for your looks but for your overall health? A healthy fit woman is more attractive. Practice good hygiene and always appear fresh. Upgrading your wardrobe and your physical appearance does not mean you are not being yourself but you are just making a better version of yourself. You don't have to be perfect or flawless but the way you take care of yourself speaks a lot about you. Of course, the most important thing in improving your appearance is that you are comfortable with it and having fun with it. Take care of yourself and always look good if you want to be the girl guys want to date.

An independent and self-sufficient girl. Although it is romantic to think men as your shining armor, being too dependent will not work on your favor. It can be unattractive for a woman to be always needy and dependent on the opposite sex. A woman who is self-sufficient and has a sense of independence is more attractive and are more likely to be asked for a date. A woman who do not have the tendency to be clingy and has the confidence that she can still live even without a man in her life tend to have greater value in the perspective of men. Of course being independent doesn't mean you do not want men in your life but being independence makes you more attractive, valuable and challenging. Most men naturally would chase for someone he can't easily have and value someone he knows he can lose at any moment. Being independent and self-sufficient can help you be the girl guys want to date.

An interesting girl. Yes, you want to succeed in dating men and want to be the girl guys want to date but you can't just sit there, depressed and do nothing while waiting for it to happen. Do what you love doing while waiting for that dating life of yours to flourish. Become a more interesting person. Go out regularly with your friends and family, create new friendships or expand your social network, create an active and healthy lifestyle, do something for the community and be a better citizen, make time for hobbies you enjoy, learn new things, acquire new skills and excel on your chosen career. An interesting woman can carry out any type of conversation with any person especially with the opposite sex because she has a lot to share and talk to about. If you continue to live a fulfilled life while waiting for your dating life to happen, chances are, this guy you are waiting for is just around the corner watching you and trying to figure out how to be part of your interesting life.

A girl who respects herself. Men may find it hard to trust and respect a woman who would sleep with a guy right away. Behaving this way, may make you more of a hook-up than a date material. But a woman who makes a man work for what he wants and makes him feel that he won her, has his respect and admiration. The way you treat yourself is a clear indication on how you want to be treated and what kind of woman you are. Do you want to be the girl guys want to date? Respect yourself and you'll earn the respect and admiration of others especially the opposite sex.

A girl who has a positive attitude. This kind of woman is the girl guys want to date because she is jolly, positive and a joy to be around with. She's happy and contented even if her life is not that perfect. She knows how to handle the imperfections in her life, does not carry bitterness and does not affect people around her negatively. A woman who avoids negativity and embraces a positive outlook and attitude is very attractive. Smile and infect people around you with your positive attitude if you want to be the girl guys want to date.

Friday, 15 April 2016

Sex in a relationship

Sex in a relationship




One of the greatest headaches of many young ladies in relationship is the issue of sex. While they find themselves entangled in love, they also would not want to offend God by fornicating.

Meanwhile, most young men of today are always demanding sex before marriage as a proof of love. If a lady denies her boyfriend (fiance) sex, he tends to think she either does not love him or she is seeing another guy. And this throws the
lady into so much confusion. She genuinely loves the guy but wouldn't want to give in to sex. If she denies him, she may lose him and if she gives in too she disobeys God. Sorry to our ladies.

Gentleman, please know that it is absolutely a lie from the pit of hell that if your fiancee does not give you sex it shows she doesn't love you. 
How can you use sex as a LOVEOMETRE? Have you never slept with ladies you didn't truly love? If you haven't then let me tell you that many people are having sex with people they never love. And the men are themselves the worst culprits.

If sex is a proof of love then we have to conclude that prostitutes love all the men they sleep with.

If sex is a proof of love then we have to go about sleeping with our best friends and even family members to show how deeply we love them.
Even married couples, do not have sex to prove their love. They rather have sex because sex is part of marriage and it is meant for both procreation and recreation - child birth and enjoyment. 


Don't you know that there are married
couples who are not genuinely in love but they still have sex as a matter of duty or just for cover-ups?

Surely, sex plays a major role in love affairs. But
Eccl 3:1 says, "For everything there is a
season..." It is never the right season to have sex in a relationship. This is because sex is a blood covenant between husband and wife not boyfriend and girlfriend.
 Gen. 4:1 says, "Adam knew his wife". It does not say "Adam knew his girlfriend".

Stop going that far with the lady. If you want to know about a woman's love for you sex is never the answer. Leave her alone to serve God right for your own sake if you truly want to marry her.

Song of Songs 2:7 says, "I charge you, O
daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelle...that you AWAKEN NOT LOVE UNTIL IT IS TIME".
The gazelle is a very swift animal. It runs at least 96 km per hour. Bible compares romance to the gazelle. If you start romance at the wrong time you may crush because you will not be able to
stop it from running your life at top speed. So until you are married, don't AWAKEN LOVE. 

Sex has been the main reason for most broken hearts and disappointments.
Sex is called love-making because it involves the body, soul and spirit. Do you want your soul and spirit to be tied to somebody who is not married to you? Can you stand the consequences, Mr.
Young Man? Hear the Bible:
"O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, DO NOT SPEND YOUR STRENGTH ON WOMEN, YOUR VIGOUR ON THOSE WHO DESTROY
KINGS." (Prov. 31:2)
Sex before marriage can destroy you, even your Christian life. The funny thing is some Brothers in Christ even worry the Sisters in Christ for sex. So God says, "My son...son of my vow". You are a son of God so don't waste your energy on women. You should rather be teaching her chastity and help her serve God well.

Seeking love from sex is like looking for Jesus in an empty tomb.(Word) Take it easy. When you marry you will be fed up with sex. Your wife will be chasing you with it and you will be running away,
saying, "Oh I'm tired, why?". Take time okay, Wait patiently. It will soon be laid at your doorstep and you will notice how stupid it is to chase sex when you are not married.


If you want a woman to prove her love to you, allow her some space to be herself. Do not force your will on her or control her. Her love, by nature, will push her to do things that will signal to you that you are her top priority. She will be ready to marry you, than just have fun with you.
She will not be interested in you showering things on her but rather, she would want both of you to set your life and future right. She will support your dreams and visions and help you build up your Christian life. In fact, she will exhibit the spirit of humility and you will also discover she is a precious jewel in a glass jar, reserved for you alone.

So from today, even if she herself brings sex, tell her..."Do not awaken love until it is time." And if you guys love each other, plan about marrying and submit your plans to God. He will bless it and put you two together as one..

 Ladies...you should also read before sending to him I wish u read all to the last.....our ladies are dying in the hands of some unmerciful men. 

 Sex has turned many ladies into a mystery of thinking what they feel for a particular guy is true love.

You meet a guy, he takes you out; He had a great sex with you, it was like heaven to you. He makes you feel happy because you enjoyed him so much you start assuming both of you are meant to be together as husband & wife.

You start dreaming of your future with him while he's just having fun. Your feelings for him has blindfolded you from seeing things from the reality point
of view. You find yourself infatuated with him just because you don't want to feel used & dumped.

Sometimes you need to sit down & ask yourself; what do i really love about this guy? 

Don't start dreaming of your future with a guy who is just catching his fun. Don't attach a permanent feeling to a temporal person. Don't open up your heart to
a guy who doesn't open his bible. Stop chasing after a guy who doesn't chase after God.(Word👌🏻)

Kindly share so others can benefit 


Saturday, 9 April 2016

ADVICE TO LADIES/WOMAN ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR SPOUSE

ADVICE TO LADIES/WOMAN ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR SPOUSE


So many women placed emphasis on the way they should be treated by their man, but how many women really treat their men right?
Sometimes, women want to be treated right that they forget their man is human and has emotions too and deserves to be treated right as well.

These quotes are a reminder for every woman.

1. A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.

2. If a woman doesn’t chase a man a little. She doesn’t love him.

3. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

4. If a woman expects a man to be an Angel in.her life, she must first create heaven for him. Angels don’t live in hell

5. If a man gives you loyalty, treat him like royalty.

6. After he opens the car door and you
get in, lean over his seat and open his door for him.

7. A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute does in the night.

8. A real woman values her relationship, no matter how many men that come after her.

9. They say ‘behind every successful man is a woman’. Be the woman who adds value to her man’s life.

10. A good woman should recognise that which her man does for her and appreciate him for it.

Friday, 25 March 2016

Reasons why some ladies are single

Reasons why some ladies are single


Actually this is a guest post by sammyking from Catholic singles and married group on whatsapp.
If you're a Catholic and wish to join kindly send us an email to emmque68@gmail.com including your name and phone number.

Before we proceed why not check out some post you previously missed.
Secret of a great relationship

Making your long distance relationship work

Why do men cheat

Back to today's topic.
It is widely known majority of single ladies stay single due to past experience in previous so called relationship.
But today we're going to find out top reason why some ladies are single.

Read also Types of Husband

Reasons why ladies are singles.

 1. Because You Act Like A B**CH!!! Have A Bad Attitude!
You may not like to hear that, but this issue is very real for some women. I’m not trying to be disrespectful in any way, but I want to make my point very clear. You have so many women that walk around with a nasty, stuck up attitude and they have the audacity to wonder why they struggle with finding the right man. Some of them will attempt to cover it up by proclaiming to be a “diva”, too “classy”, or that they are just speaking their mind. In reality you just have a bad attitude.
Some people might say, well I see plenty of women like that married or in relationships. Don’t be fooled, she wasn’t completely showing that side in the beginning, why? Because she was being deceptive with hiding it. Either way, being a negative person isn’t going to help you find love. Most of the men may still go after you for sex, but if you learn to fix that attitude then you will start to attract the right kind of man in your life.

2. You Blame Men For Everything.

That is why some of you are still single. You refuse to make yourself accountable for your actions. Everything is a man’s fault, and according to you, once they “act right” then you will have no problem falling in line. First off, I agree that men have contributed so much to the issues in relationships and women in general. We as men do have a responsibility to step up and do better. The thing is, if you aren’t willing to “step up” as well, then we will continue to have an issue,
and you will continue to find yourself by yourself. At the end of the day, you control how you handle things. If you are not prepared to look in the mirror then you will never realize the flaws you have and that need improvement. So next time you want to put it all on men, check yourself, and accept that you have a choice to do better and truly be one of the “good women” out there.

3. You Think Your Looks Will Carry You Through Life.

Ok so you’re beautiful and have a nice body, great! Problem is, if a man talks to you and finds out that there is nothing else to you then why would he bother wanting to make you his woman. He will still want sex (sex is always an option for men) but that’s it. Men may be more superficial than women, but most of us still want a woman who has some kind of personality. Make yourself a more well-rounded fun individual and more men will want to make you their own.

4. You Are A Gold Digger

Ok maybe you aren’t exactly on that level, but you have made how much he makes your top priority. You are so caught up in dollar signs that you overlook the things that are truly important to having and maintaining a relationship. Realize that most men are not rich, so right there you immediately
make it harder for yourself to find the righ guy. Even if a guy has money, if he sees that’s what you are mainly about he won’t take you seriously. I’m not saying date broke men, but I am saying that money should not be your main motivator. Have better priorities and you will find yourself in better relationships.

5. You Don’t Keep Yourself Up

Not that you have to get your nails and hair done every 2 weeks (though some of us do like that) but you can’t always look raggedy either. I mean damn, some of you ladies just put no real effort into how you look. Not everyone has the same style, but good hygiene and health should be a goal for all.
Most of us want our woman to look good.
As I stated earlier we men are a bit more superficial than women, so to grab and keep our attention you need to be mindful of how you present yourself. You know where you can improve your look, so get started on it if you want to increase your chances of going from being one of the single “good women” to one of the taken “good women”.

6. Sex Has Been Your Downfall!

I personally believe it is best to wait, but the reality is that most of us have or will engage in sex before we are married. As a woman if you chose to do that, then understand that your “skills” or lack thereof will impact a man’s willingness to make you his woman.
Unfortunately a lot of women think they are good but really the experience was nothing.to talk about. Women are quick to talk about a man’s performance while neglecting the fact that they could use a lot of improvement as well. It doesn’t take as much to please most men sexually, so be more open to ways you can improve if you choose to take that route (best to just wait).

7. You’ve been Hurt

Many single women reading this remain
single or in dead-end relationships because you have been hurt in your past. This hurt can be from a previous relationship, previous situation with a man, or sexual abuse. Some of the first six reasons I listed are just manifestations of that same hurt you are holding on to. You now operate with walls up to protect you, but it is those same walls that continue to block the blessings you deserve to receive. I understand how difficult it can be to move on from these things, but if you are ever to move in the right direction as well as into a new healthy relationship, you must begin with forgiveness. Start the process of letting the pain go and watch how things improve.

8. You keep entertaining the “wrong guy” You know he isn’t the one for you yet you continue to entertain this man and his nonsense. He isn’t even giving you a full commitment but yet you are giving him all the benefits of a real relationship. How do you expect to ever find the “right guy” when you ALLOW yourself to continuously deal with the “wrong guy”? You want a relationship, but you let this (single or taken) man continue to take from you without having to fully give you what you desire in return. You can continue to sell yourself short, but do not complain or be surprised
when you find yourself still single and more emotionally damaged than you were before.

9. You’re too busy enjoying the “Single Life”

You’re just having too much fun living it up. Maybe you like to come and go as you please. Maybe you enjoy the free meals, outings, and for some, the bills that get paid from your “guy friends”. If those are your reasons, I get it, but just make sure that you aren’t using that as a front. Many women
claim to love the “single life” but in a heartbeat they would trade it in for a genuine relationship. Yes, you should enjoy yourself while you’re single , but that does not mean you have to act like you enjoy being single . I hope you understand the difference. If your attitude or words say “I love being single” then understand that this will impact a man’s willingness to come at you with something more serious. Have fun, but be true to yourself and what you really desire.

10. You lack “positive energy”

This is different from #1 on the list “acting like a b**ch”. Some of you may not be negative or mean, but you still don’t give off any positive energy. If you were a light bulb, you would be a flickering light at best. Some of this is due to lack of self-esteem, unresolved issues that have sapped your
strength, or just taking on too much to the point where you are beat down and worn out. Whatever the reason is, that inability to “shine bright” makes it hard for a man to be drawn to you. Whether we show it or not, we have enough issues as it is. So if you don’t seem like a source of enjoyment, or just
come off as a big bag of issues. We won’t be so willing to be with you. We all have things we need to deal with, but make sure you exude some confidence and positive vibes to increase your chances of finding the right guy.

11. You haven’t met “that guy”

Shout out to the ladies that don’t settle. Shout out to the ladies that understand that if he isn’t the right guy for you, then forcing a relationship is pointless. I applaud you and I hope more women would take that path. The reality is, just because you meet a “good guy” that doesn’t mean he is the “right guy”. Continue to be patient, but make sure that the reason you haven’t met him isn’t due to unfair requirements you have set. If “that guy” is defined by his job, car, income bracket, and things of that nature then good luck with that. Those things make finding him harder, and personally I think you should focus on finding a man you connect with. Without that connection, “that guy” will easily become “that ex” in due time.

12. You Are Waiting On GOD

There are many women who say they are just going to trust GOD and let him bring them a man. That is great, but there is a slight problem with that. Many of those same women take an approach of not doing anything to facilitate the process. They wait on GOD to deliver a man as if they are waiting on a shipment from FedEx. You still have to recognize what it is you are or are not doing correctly. If you choose to trust GOD to bring you a man, how about finding out what GOD needs you to do to get that man. Because if you are not the woman you need to be then you may find yourself waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Not because GOD can’t do his part, but because you haven’t truly tapped into doing your part.

Friday, 4 March 2016

Types of Husband

Types of Husband

Photo credit- google 



Today in the world, it's almost normal for a man to cheat as the popular slogan attributed to men is All men are cheat or probably the same
Hence I took my time to study some marriages and figured out not all men are really cheat.  We only have categories of men and if you're a man and you fall in any of this category.  Change for good.

Read also When Someone Believes That All Men/Women Are The Same, Is It Because They Lack Self-Awareness?

Below are the various types of Husband

TYPES OF HUSBANDS:

1: BACHELOR HUSBAND
Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.

2: ACIDIC HUSBAND. Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.

3: SLAVE HUSBAND Wants to be treated like a King but treats Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old tradition respect and hates being called by their first name.

4: GENERAL HUSBAND Husband for every woman. loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends.

5: DRY HUSBAND Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's emotions, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humor.

6: PANADOL HUSBAND Uses wife as problem solver, only loves wife when needing something from her. Is clever and knows wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from wife.

7: PARASITE HUSBAND. Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities.

8: BABY HUSBAND Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his Mother or relatives; compares Wife to relatives and runs to them always if something goes wrong.

9: VISITING HUSBAND Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family all material things but has no time for them.

10: CARING HUSBAND Caring and loving. Provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. Guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

Dear Men, which type of husband are YOU? And for the ladies, which is your man?

Credit to this article goes to Adeleke Emmanuel.  
You can connect with him on facebook by clicking Here     stay tuned to our next post and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss a post.

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

When Someone Believes That All Men/Women Are The Same, Is It Because They Lack Self-Awareness?

When Someone Believes That All Men/Women Are The Same, Is It Because They Lack Self-Awareness?

Photo Source-- Google

While there are people who are able to see that not all men/women are the same, there are also people who are unable to do so. In their eyes, every member of the opposite gender is going to be the same.
The First Side
If someone was to ask a person in the first group to prove to them that not all men/women are the same, they could tell them about the experiences they have had. Along with this, they could also ask them what they think about the outlook that the people have in the second group.
During this time, they could say that they find it hard to believe how anyone could actually believe that all men/women are the same. One thing they might say is that perhaps they have a sheltered life.
The Second Side
On the other hand, if they were to ask someone who belongs to the second group to do the same thing, they could also talk about the experiences they have had. And once again, they could be asked what they think of the outlook that the people have in the first group.
If they were to listen to what is being said, they might also wonder how they could have a different outlook. Yet they might also end up dismissing what they hear, and it is then not going to be possible for them to think about what has been said.
Evidence
One way of looking at this would be to say that even though some people are willing to question what they believe, there are others who are not. As a result, it won't matter what evidence is provided, as they won't be able to accept it.
It could then be said that they want to hold onto the outlook they have, and this is why they are unable to see life differently. Therefore, there is going to be no point in someone trying to explain to them that their outlook doesn't reflect reality, as they will be wasting their time.
The Truth
The outlook they have will be seen as the truth, and it is then going to be normal for them to look for evidence that proves their right. However, this is not to say that they will realise what is taking place.
When it comes to the experiences that they have, they will see themselves as being nothing more than an observer of their life. It is then not that they are looking for people who support their outlook; it is that every man/woman is the same.
External Support
When someone has this outlook, there is a strong chance that they will surround themselves with people who have the same view. Through being around these people, it will give them the validation that they need.
But even if they don't know anyone who has the same outlook, it doesn't mean that they will be completely isolated. The only thing they need to do is to go online and they will find the people who will validate their reality.
The Internet
This doesn't mean that one will end up playing a passive role though, as they could create a blog or even make videos. The support one needs will then end up coming their way, and if they receive any feedback that goes against their outlook, they could simply ignore it.
In fact, when a member of the opposite sex speaks out about how men/women are not the same, this could give them even more validation. The reason for this is that one could see this is a sign that they are getting defensive and are trying to overlook their behaviour.
Stepping Back
If one was able to step back from themselves and to observe what was taking place within them, it would give them the chance to see what part they are playing in all this. This is because they would see that their experiences are a reflection of what is taking place within them.
What this comes down to is that one doesn't see with their eyes; they see with their mind. As a result, one sees what they want to see and overlooks what they don't want to see.
A Common Outlook
One of the reasons why one can see themselves as being nothing more than an observer of their reality is because this is something that is widely accepted in today's world. If this wasn't the case, it would be normal for people to realise that they are playing an active role in their experience.
Thus, it is often the exception for one to be in a position where they are aware of what is taking place within them. And it is then going to be a mystery as to how their inner world impacts their outer world.
A Deeper Look
When one believes that all men/women are the same, there may have been a time in their life when they were taken advantage of by man or a woman. This would then have defined their outlook and until they look into what took place, it is not going to be possible for them to experience life differently.
The only thing that will happen is that their mind will continue to filter out anything that goes against what they believe. This is why self-awareness is important, as it will allow one to take responsibility for what is taking place within them, and this will then give them the chance to experience life differently.
Awareness
If one is in a position where they believe that all men/women are the same and they no longer want to experience life in the same way, they may need to reach out for external support. While this could be a time where they will be questioning what they believe; it could also be a time where they will be dealing with trauma.
And through bringing their attention to what is taking place within them, they will gradually begin to develop self-awareness.
Prolific writer, author and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over nine hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9328247
Making Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Making Your Long Distance Relationship Work


Distance often throws a monkey wrench into a relationship. That is why many people are wary of committing to any long distance relationship. However, most couples tend to forget that relationship does not depend on the physical location only.
Close proximity can often be suffocating while in a long distance relationship many good things can bloom in the space between the couple. For this to happen, couples should focus on how things can turn out right instead of dwelling on what can go wrong. If you are trying to make your long distance relationship work, check out the following suggestions.
Being In A Successful Long Distance Relationship
A sexual relationship at the wrong point of time has a negative bearing on a relationship. (This is sure going to get a lot of flack from some readers, but sorry people, this is the truth!) This intimacy changes the equation especially when they are not yet ready to take the step. Once the threshold is crossed the pressure on the relationship makes it harder to work things out as they move very quickly in other areas. More often than not, it leads to a break up. However, when a couple is far away, the pressure of physical contact is reduced. The relationship progresses slowly making the couple know each other better.
In a long distance relationship, proper communication is important. To keep things moving forward, these relationships use a different line of communication that is far better than those who stay in close proximity. That is because the only way to spend time with one another in a long distance relationship is through communication. When together, communication can often turn into arguments. While this not impossible when apart, it is greatly reduced, since there is more focus on the other person and less on oneself.
In a long distance relationship, friendship is the foundation on which it is built. No matter where they are located, a bond inevitably forms with an underlying emotional connection. In close proximity this valuable friendship is often overshadowed by intimacy. Thus, a support system, the bedrock of a relationship, which takes time to build, is missed out. In a long distance relationship, the couple become friends first and lovers later, so, both develop proper understanding. If you want your relationship to work no matter where you are, your partner should be your friend, apart from being our lover.
Have faith in your relationship no matter where you are. If you believe that your relationship is fragile just because of distance, you're going to ruin it with your own hands. Live in the moment, enjoy the romance, and the rest will work out for you. Stay away from rumours and unlikely stories about your partner, avoid suspicion, and the seed of romance will blossom into a thing of beauty.
Although these points may sound like a long distance relationship can be easy for everyone to work out, this is not always so. Not everyone has the energy and commitment to carry out a long distance relationship. Many people are more comfortable when their partner is physically present for whatever may be the reason. However, if you are fully prepared to make the long distance relationship with your partner work, then all the points given above will surely be of help. Sometimes, distance may be one thing that pushes your relationship on to success.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9097834

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

9 Signs He's Not a Cheater

9 Signs He's Not a Cheater



Being cheated on is the worst. You feel rejected but also pissed. You don't know who you can trust. Well, scientific studies have narrowed down some traits that are statistically more common in guys who cheat, so here are some signs (not confirmation, obviously) that your guy will never stray.
1. You bring home the same amount of money. A recent study from the American Sociological review showed that partners were less likely to cheat if they were in the same (or similar) income brackets. Men were more likely to cheat if they made a lot more money than their partner, and they were most likely to cheat if they made a lot less. So if you two have similar paychecks, you've got statistics on your side.
2. He's from the Midwest. According to this poll, Midwesterners are just too well-mannered to cheat on their partners. 
3. His friends are also faithful. People are more likely to cheat if their friends are also cheaters, according to M. Gary Newman, author of The Truth About Cheating. If his friends are trustworthy, it's likely he's trustworthy too.
4. He feels loved and trusted. According to a study conducted by Newman, most men don't cheat because they're not satisfied sexually. They cheat because they're seeking emotional satisfaction.
5. He's an extrovert. Extroverts are less likely to go along with the influence of others. Research shows that introverts are actually more likely to cheat because they're more likely to agree to someone propositioning them. So even if he's always out there meeting new people, you actually might be safer.
6. He just seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't cheat. According to a real study that people spent time on, researchers found that you can trust your gut when it comes to guys who look like they'd cheat. If your gut is telling you "no," then it's a good idea to listen to that gut.
7. He's really into Pantera. Yeah, according to this survey conducted by the Mirror (so, questionable), heavy metal listeners are apparently the least likely to cheat.
8. He comes from a big family. A survey from adult meet-up site Seeking Arrangements shows that cheaters are usually only children. Ask if he has a sister.
9. He has a hard time getting it up.  A sad study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviorshowed that men who are easily aroused are more likely to cheat, so I guess mark one in the "pros" column for whiskey dick.